So there you have it. Simple, precise, clear.
I have been going over a post in my head about this subject for weeks, ever since David’s last blog. What David said about respecting this private time was obvious to me, but it was also obvious that others felt differently. Sites owners and bloggers have different takes on this as well. Some freely post photos of David on his mission, others allow links in their comments to mission sites and mission photos. AFS’s policy is clear: Only posts and links to David’s public life are allowed.
My personal take on this has always been that David has never asked anything of us, never asked us to buy a ticket to a show, never asked us to buy a VIP ticket, never asked us to buy a book. He’s only asked one thing of us…and that is to give him the next two years to pursue something outside his public life, away from the fans.
David has my 100% support. Does he have yours?
61 Responses to “r.e.s.p.e.c.t”
Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.
Oh my goodness, I don’t believe that we are disrespectful by looking a picture that other elders post on their public blogs. I’m such a big David fan, but this a little sad, and frankly I’m a little disappointed with the answer Kari gave. David wanting it all!!
Doesn’t he have a right to “want it all”? I think it’s more of the fans wanting it all than him wanting it all. He already deals with people knowing who he is, and his mission is obviously not going to be like everyone else’s. He’s not getting it all and he knows it. The least we can do is do what he’s asked and make it as private as possible, even if it can’t ever really be private.
what I’m saying is that how can looking at a picture that he posed for be disrespectful. He must of known that it might be viewed. I do apologize for that he wanting it all comment, it was my frustration coming out, I did go to far.
I just want these fan sites to stay active and without anything to talk about they might dry up and I think it will hurt David in the long run, only my opinion.
I get where you’re coming from. The only thing is though, just because he knows it might get posted on the internet doesn’t mean he wants us all to see it. He knows it will happen, but from what Kari said, he doesn’t like it. What’s he going to do, tell all his missionary friends that he can’t take pictures with them unless they all sign an agreement to not put it on the internet? Then he gets to have no pictures with them unless he takes them himself. That’s where we come in and directly correlates to what he said about respect.
Fine, I won’t look at another picture if it doesn’t come from him…..and of course, we won’t have any for the next two years. With all that is said and done, I’m only wanting David not to be forgotten and not have a continuing career to come home for.
I think there is plenty to talk about. David worked very hard to leave fans with two albums. Kari just released a new video blog of David behind the scenes. She has released numerous pictures of David. People can talk about them. There is stuff to talk about without having to get involved with David’s private life. David has a right to want to keep certain parts of his life private.
Couldn’t agree with this more. He’s given so much to us already and if he asks us to respect this time and let him focus on his mission, then after all he’s done for us, shouldn’t we do that for him?
David has sacrificed a lot. It is now our turn to offer some sacrifice to fulfill David’s wish. It is something very personal for him and that he asked us to respect his decision. Let us give this to David without reservation. He has given a lot to all his fans. It is now our turn to give back and Respect his Privacy. Let us give it to David #DA2014…
Couldn’t have said it better myself, Michael.
I hope I did the quote thing correctly. What has David sacrificed? I am asking respectfully. Everytime I see David has sacrificed, David has done it all for us etc, I really have to stop and think. He has had a life most only hope for. He has reached his dreams of making music. Performed around the world. Had life experiences that most 21 year olds never will have, not even a 10th of. One could say the mission is a sacrifice and perhaps it is in terms of creature comforts, but this is also his dream. And living one’s dream isn’t a sacrifice in itself. Yes David has done a lot for us as fans but it is also been in his best interest to form this relationship. He has done a lot for us in the course of living out his dreams with music. So I just don’t understand why he is put on this pedestal sometimes. Once again all IMHO.
lurkyturkey, yes, I love David and I respect all his fans, but I’m with total agreement with your statement.
Agree 100% with what Michael Concepcion said!! Kari will tweet us what is appropriate!
Absolutely/Positively David has my utmost respect…he deserves it & that’s exactly what he will always get from me.
I must respectfully disagree with several things. David is a big boy. He went into show business of his own free will. Unless he is utterly stupid he has to know that his fans follow him closely and will most likely google things related to him in any situation, including his mission. Viewing a publically photo or reading a public blog–how exactly does this hurt him? Interfering with his work on mission, of course no one would do that. But simply posting a public photo or reading a blog is not disrespectful imho. He should be happy that he has fans who care enough to not let him be forgotten while he’s away. He should be grateful to us as we are to him for the support. His career is already so small. Without the loyal fans he would have nothing to come back to. Yes I respect all fan opinions and I respect David, but someone who chose freely to enter the public eye has to expect a life lived in a fishbowl to one degree or another.
lurkyturkey, very well stated. Yes, David is a big boy. One thing I do worry about is that more and more fans think of his isolation as meaning I don’t care what happen to my career, so they will move on and never look back. Just want his fans to stick around and the only way is to keep fans interested.
I’m sure he knows he’s in the public eye and that everything he’s doing, including his mission, people are searching for info and are reading and looking at pictures. I feel that’s why he asked his fans to respect his privacy during this time. I feel like he’s given a lot to me personally, and the least I can do is do as he has asked and not go searching out things and spreading them around. To me, he’s stated this time is private for him and because of that, I choose not to post mission related things or tweet them and spread them around. Some people may not agree with his asking that, and they will go on looking at the pictures, reading the blogs, tweeting and posting the mission related things. And others will do as he asked out of respect. It’s a matter of opinion obviously. It’s not a matter of hurting him, it’s a matter of doing something that he asked.
LurkeyTurkey, reading a public blog or viewing a picture might not hurt him. But that does not mean that it is not disrespecting him or violating his privacy. If someone posted private letters that you wrote or pictures you had taken without your permission it may not hurt you but that does not mean that they did not disrespect you. It does not mean that they did not violate your privacy.
David is a singer. He does not owe fans his life. Fans do not have a right to see and know about everything he does in his personal life. Why should he be happy that fans aren’t respecting his privcacy and need to know every little thing he does? I can understand David being happy that people want to buy his music and attend his shows but not constantly have to amuse themselves with his private life. And yeah celebrities are aware that it is hard to have a private life and that many think that their lives are fair game. But that doesn’t make it right. I also don’t see how viewing and posting pictures of him while he is on his personal time has anything to do with fans caring about him not being forgotten. That has to do with those fans own desires to see David not promote his career. Because that isn’t the way to promote his career and there are definitely other ways to do that. And the loyal fans don’t continue to support David because they are just unselfish. They continue to support him because they get something from it. They get happines from it. I’ve never been one of those fans who felt the celebrity owed me something because I bought tickets and cds.
The most important thing is the music. It is not whether or not a fan knows private things about the artist. I am a fan of an artist who disappears during his private time and I don’t even know where he is. He is a very private person. And I am fine with that. I am also a fan of an artist who didn’t put out new music for like 8 years. I am not the only one. Plenty of fans aren’t even aware of what an artist does during their down time and just care about the music. Which is how it should be.
Quick question: have I been censored or did I not post my 2nd set of comments properly?
Oh I apologize for the question. I didn’t see them, but now I do. Perhaps my computer is acting up.
Thank you for this Janey!
I would agree that David of course knows that his pictures are going to be posted all over the internet and that of course he knows that fans are going to search out every detail they can about him. He’s certainly lived in that world for the last 4 years. However, knowing that it will happen and liking it are two very different things. How do we know if he likes it or not? Well, his goodbye vlog was one good indication and Kari’s tweet was another. That answers the question for me.
And I’m still trying to figure out how it is respecting his privacy when someone looks, tweets, links, makes photo albums of his pictures and puts them on their websites or facebook pages.
The real clincher though, is what Janey said: “My personal take on this has always been that David has never asked anything of us, never asked us to buy a ticket to a show, never asked us to buy a VIP ticket, never asked us to buy a book. He’s only asked one thing of us…and that is to give him these two years to pursue something outside his public life, away from the fans.” I would rather not be called a fan if the group-think decides it’s appropriate to ignore what he’s asked and continue their single-minded pursuit of all things David for their own entertainment.
Personally I think David made it pretty clear about what he wanted in his last blog.
And I am all for that.
Yes and no. I interpret what David said as this – he wants fans to stay away and not seek him out, not treat him as David if they happen to run into him, not attempt to bypass the one allowed method of sending letters. There should be absolutely no fan intrusion on what he is doing. But I think if David stood in front of a camera and smiled that he probably had the expectation or possibly even the hope that others including friends and fans would see it. I also think if the mission does a shot of the whole group and puts it on the web that they intend for people to see it. I absolutely do not think it disrespects David to view photos he knowingly participated in. I do not feel like I am intruding on his mission or disrespecting him by viewing such photos. I actually feel pride and respect for him when I see photos and I also gain comfort from knowing he is healthy and happy. I also did not see any problem with passing along what the son of the mission president tweeted for his father. However I can see where posting such things on fan sites could be outside the lines of respect – I don’t run a fan site so I don’t have to make that judgement call. If at some point David himself says he does not want fans viewing any pictures he willingly participated in then I will rethink my position.
My comments on Twitter didn’t say anything about looking at pictures. Have I stumbled upon pictures on Twitter and fansites… unfortunately yes. Did I feel pride when I saw them… yes. Do I think it’s right that they are there… no. My concern is that these pictures and blogs are being posted on Twitter, Facebook, fansites etc… which clearly goes against what David asked of his fans in his blog. I, for one, think David would be mortified if he knew that his fellow Missionaries blogs to their families and close friends were being posted on his fansites around the world because there is a David Archuleta mention in them. And yes… maybe he expects it because he’s THE David Archuleta but it doesn’t make it right or fair… especially to these unsuspecting young Missionaries.
I receive a weekly update from a friend that is on a Mission. I love her writings, her updates, her messages of inspiration and would love to share them. But, I would never in a million years post anything that she’s written without her agreement and consent. That is just being respectful in my opinion and everyone should show the same respect to these Missionaries that are serving with David.
If you have enough time in the day to seek out pic’s and posts about David… have at it. But posting them on Facebook, Twitter, fansites and splashing them all over the internet crosses the line of what I would consider respectful.
I think we’ve received an update from Kari each week since he’s left or something from David himself. I pray daily for David’s happiness and health. I know he is happy and healthy. I know he is exactly where he should be right now. I know he is in good hands. That’s all I need to know at this point.
Oh… and this is all just my opinion.
Janey… I’m with you 100% girl! #DA2014
Your opinion is the same as mine, Karin. Thanks for your thoughtful post.
Karin, I have a question, can these blogs be set as private for only the people you want or is that not able to be done that way. To me it seems like these guys that posted pictures of themselves and with David might not have a problem that they would be all over the internet, just a thought.
cq, while you didn’t ask me, I’ll take the liberty of answering. Blogs can be set to private. You can then add only those you wish to view it. The site owner can send out an invite via email and then add those who respond. The better questions might be, do missionary families understand online sharing? Are they familiar with David’s request? Again, David asked something of us, and no one else. I’m merely complying with his request.
cq… that’s exactly my point. We don’t know how these Missionaries would feel about their blogs being posted. But, what I do know is that David was clear about requesting privacy during this time. Crystal clear. And posting pic’s and blogs without his or any other Missionary’s consent doesn’t seem to show much respect for either either David or his fellow Missionaries.
My point is… the blogs and pic’s will be out there for anyone to go searching for if thats what you choose to do… but leave them where they are. Yes, they are still in a public place for all to see but I doubt each Missionary’s intentions were to have them ripped and added to a fansite.
You are absolutely right IMO and Kari’s tweets yesterday confirmed for me what I already knew from watching his goodbye vlog. I don’t know why it isn’t more clear to others what he was asking for from people.
So many great comments. Food for thought. I’ve always heard it’s better to err on the side of compassion. Compassion means putting yourself in someone else’s shoes. A good thing to do in this situation. For me, compassion = privacy for both David and those serving with him and around him. I’m sure he will let Kari know what he wants to share, and that should be enough.
When I saw some pictures of David in his suit looking happy, smiling and proudly wearing the name tag of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. My heart felt pride, joy and respect for what he is doing. Now with all this talk of what David wants or would want or what we should or should not do about looking at those pictures. I am very saddened. I joined the same church David belongs to years ago because of the Osmonds. They drew me into their hearts by their smiles, actions and joy for life. Sound familar, sound like David? The way I view this whole looking at pictures is if just one person (just one) saw David in his suit, smiling with that joy showing on his face then they saw his name tag then they wanted to know more and it lead to a missionary visiting them and their life being changed for the better like mine, how great my joy and I am sure David’s would be. What if he goes to a door he knocks someone says please come in and talk to me I saw your picture and I want to know what brings you such great joy? What if they say I read a blog that describes you as humble please tell me about your faith. What if? I cant imagine David would want anyone following him around with a camera on his mission, THAT WOULD be WRONG and Disrespecful. But a few innocent pictures a few kind words said (and all I have read have been kind) how is that disrespectful? David is serving the Lord and after all anyone who seeks what he has no matter how they are lead there is a good thing to me.
Anyways that is just my feelings and view point. But truthfully my heart is saddened by all the correcting of what we should or should not do. The one reality of life is we have free agency and my words are not meant to slander anyone or say do this or dont do that. I am just saying what my heart feels. I try to believe that is what everyone here is doing giving opinions. Still I have ALWAYS RESPECTED DAVID. But I am being made to feel like I am not and my heart does not feel that way. So my best solution for me is to walk away. I am very sad to do that but I feel its for the best. After all if I say nothing more then I can not offend anyone and if I read nothing then I wont be made to feel like I am hurting someone I have GREAT RESPECT for!! So good bye. Perhaps in two years when David returns to music I will come back and support that part of his life publicly. For now I will support him as a missionary privitely because I know the LORD is very proud of him as I am too for his sacrafice. I will continue to say prayers for all our missionaries they are all loved. I have never reposted a blog or a picture but I will continue to look at them should they come my way and I will pray that many people or (just one) person will be brought to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints from seeing or reading them. I wish everyone great joy in their lives over the next two years.
rarchiefan, I was typing as you were posting so my comment below may seem harsh to you. That was not my intent, it is a result of poor timing. What I would like you to consider is that no fan should feel badly about what Kari tweeted. She is opposing the online sharing of information about David on his mission and nothing else.
Lots of interesting comments, thank you all for stopping by. I would like to say a couple of things. I posted Kari’s tweet because it made it pretty clear to me that she believes posting and RTing links to pictures and info of David on his mission is not in line with what David asked of us as fans. Whether you agree that David has a right to ask that of us or not, whether you believe this hurts him or not, whether you believe it’s all part of being a public figure or not, is not really the issue, is it? Kari, as a spokesperson for David, used Karin’s tweet this morning as an opportunity to reiterate David’s request.
Really like Kari and thought it was so great that she was the one to take care of things while David was away, but that re tweet really was a bad thing. It only pit fans against each other. Big mistake.
I’m not sure why you think fans are “pitted” against each other. If some feel strongly about what Kari said, why would that come between fans? Is it because a fan pointed out what Kari said and brought it to another fan’s attention? Shouldn’t that be directed to Kari or David? She has been hired as his spokesperson and represents him.
Kari made her point a second time. After her response to Karin, she then tweeted, “@quinnxwaldorf thank you for saying that. He does not ask for much” in response to @quinnxwaldorf saying, “Guys, #Archies David has given us EVERYTHING and more and TIME is the only thing he’s asked from us, is that really so hard to give to him?”
If this is causing people to think about things in a new way, I’m not sure I see that as a big mistake.
I too do not see Kari’s rt as a mistake. She was just doing her job. She is just relaying David’s wishes. I don’t see that as pitting fans against each other.
I think the “pitting” comment comes from the censoring and admonishing that has been going on since that vlog. Well, since the very beginning actually. A lot of people think that the vlog was very clear in what David wanted. I’ve never been a “read between the lines” type of person and am quite literal at times. And to me, that vlog wasn’t clear at all. I felt he said respect my decision to take 2 years out of my career to go on this mission, but nothing about leave me completely alone. Kari will take care of my twitter, but nothing about don’t look at blogs/pics/news about me.
There are an awful lot of school principles in this fanbase and I stay away from most fansites everytime there is an issue because I’m always made to feel like I’m doing something wrong, no matter what side of the issue I happen to be on at that time. Because both sides are so passionate about what they believe and feel everyone should think the same way. This is the one thing I hate about this fanbase…the divisions.
See, Janey, Kari may have only commented about the RTing of links, but others take it further and actually (I feel) do more harm than good by the way they admonish fans. Being told constantly that what you do is bad and disrespectful to David may only push fans to leave him completely. David’s fanbase is already small and getting smaller all the time. How much of this fanbase will still be here when he returns? That’s an answer I’m afraid to know. Especially when everything seems geared to come out this year. Will there be anything left for next year?
I don’t go looking for blogs/pics because quite frankly I don’t know how people are finding them. When I do happen upon a tweet, I get this little jolt of joy and pride in what David is doing. I’m not of the LDS faith and don’t have much knowledge about the workings of the faith or a mission. These missionary blogs give great insight into what a missionary goes through and what the LDS faith is about. I’ve never been one to go to the church sites to read because they can be extremely tedious and well….boring. Info given by an actual member…to me… carries more weight. I know, that doesn’t make any sense.
I don’t usually comment, but this one I felt in my heart I needed to. I don’t mean to offend/hurt anyone here by my comments. If I have, please accept my most sincerest apologies. I’m also very sorry this is really long.
Karen
Don’t apologize for anything you said or if it’s long. I respect what you had to say and thank you for taking the time to add to the discussion in a mature respectful way.
Had a break from real life to come back to read the replies to my comment. I do stand behind the fact that there was fan discord, I was basically told by another fan that I was a bad fan. I do agree with pouncer84 comment about reading what David said on his vlog, it is subject to interpretation.
Instead of searching the web for photos of David on his mission or to see what his fellow missionaries are writing about David, use your time more wisely and DO GOOD for others ! That’s what David would want, dont you agree? If you want more info about the Good Place Project, see the sidebar on the right on this page.
David is doing just fine, we have already heard through Kari that he loves it there, there is no need to search for more info and DEFINITELY NOT post any of this info on twitter or fansites!! Not only is this disrespecting David and his wishes but also invading the privacy of the other missionaries who are writing in their blogs, not expecting it to go any further.
David has left us music to enjoy while he was gone , to keep the fans “connected” . Leave him alone on his mission… that’s the least we could do in return.
Great Post Janey…you took the words out of my mouth!!
AFS is always so respectful as to what you will and will not post and that is why i am honored to be a part of this site now.
Thanks, Wendy.
I want to folks to be clear about my intent was with this post. I am in no way chastising anyone who looks at photos or read blogs. Kari felt the need to say she is opposed to the public sharing of mish blog and mish pic links. She then posted a tweet saying David hasn’t asked for much, only this. I posted my support of her statements.
And my support is of her statements and your post, Janey. I also never told anyone what to look at, but that’s the way it seems to be taken and I don’t know why…
If someone disagrees with this post (and I don’t think they are) they are basically disagreeing with Kari’s statements. If people want to discuss their disagreement with Kari’s tweets, this would be the time and place for it. My hope is that the subject would be centered on what she actually tweeted and not confused with anything else.
I had no idea that missionaries could post public pics and blogs, I know this is a bit selfish but I am envious of you guys who got to see some recent pics, I have no idea how to even find them. I do respect David and just figured that he would send us a blog and/or a pic on his own time, when he wants to. I admit when I read this post, I tried to find these pics and blogs just to see what they were about but I’m not very computer savy and I couldn’t. I do agree that David does want to be left alone for the most part and he deserves to do his mission in peace. I want so badly to ask you guys where you saw the pics but I suppose that would be wrong, I don’t want to dissrespect David but I can’t help but be curious too. I am happy with all the stuff he did for us before he left, I still watch Nandito often and I LOVE his Forevermore cd, it’s incredible! I can’t wait for the new album and all the pics and vids we have coming our way. We are truly blessed to be fans of someone who cares that much about us, and a big thanks to Kari for keeping our connection to David going. Have a good day all
Did looking at those missionary blogs and group pictures hurt or interfere with David’s missionary work? NO! Did it satisfy fans cravings for any glimpse of David’s missionary life and how well and happy he is doing? YES! You know what I think is disrespectful? Having all these conversations going around which is basically dividing the solidarity of his fanbase. I think this has been all blown out of proportion. We are all humans, prone to make mistakes and have differing opinions. Aren’t we all here for David? David doesn’t want this happening to his fans. He wants us all to be solid. Why not let us just all focus on doing good deeds (which David would surely appreciate), first by being forgiving and not judgmental. That’s what David would do! Chill out! Peace!
Anon, so if we feel strongly about a subject but know others might not agree, we should ignore it and not say what we’d like to say? I don’t agree with that at all. There have been many disagreements in the fanbase. This isn’t the first, nor will it be the last. When you have large groups of all different types of people, there is bound to be discord at times.
No one is being judgmental here that I saw. Me personally, I feel David implied in the vlog very clearly he wanted this time for himself. Go watch it again, maybe you’ll see it? I don’t know how anyone could miss that and then with Kari’s 2 tweets yesterday, and her being David’s representative while he’s on his mission, how is that not clear that spreading the links around is against what they’re asked? If you know he wouldn’t want it based on those things, and you do it anyway, then you are going against something he’s asked. If you are okay with that, then so be it. I’m not here to tell people what they can and can’t do. It’s up to me to decide for myself and only myself. Everyone else can do as they wish. But it’s my prerogative to say what my opinion is if I want to, and it’s yours to say what your opinion is as well.
And this is not directed towards you Anon, but in general with the whole argument, I’m sick of people saying that those that feel the way I do are trying to police the fans, decide what is best for David, or be judgmental. I haven’t said ANY of those things. I base my feelings on the vlog and Kari’s tweets which were both pretty clear to me.
Am I saying if you look at the blogs and pictures you are a bad fan? NO! I never said that. If you spread them around, do I think you are going against something David asked? Yes, I do. And that’s it.
Anon, I’m curious and trying to stay on topic here. How is your comment, “Did looking at those missionary blogs and group pictures hurt or interfere with David’s missionary work? NO! Did it satisfy fans cravings for any glimpse of David’s missionary life and how well and happy he is doing? YES!” related to Kari’s tweet which is the core of the discussion and my reason for posting her statement.
I’d also agree because the purpose of the post wasn’t to say not to look at the blogs and pictures.
Just a thought…are we sure David is not aware his fellow missionaries have blogs and are posting these pictures in public blogs? Not trying to rile anyone up, but this thought just came to me. And I truly do not intend to disrespect David or anyone here with my question.
He might know, he might not. Even so, even if he knows, I still feel like it was asked that we not spread it around because this is his private time. From what I remember, he did say private time in the vlog. The blogs are meant for the missionary’s family and friends not for thousands of fans. I feel (and don’t know but just my feelings) that he is there focusing on the mission and doesn’t want his fans discussing and spreading around other missionary’s blogs just to get a glimpse of him or a mention of him. He probably just wants a normal mission like everyone else there. I understand he’s not a normal case because he is a celebrity but I think he can still have his wishes on the subject. Again, since I haven’t heard that expressly from him, it’s only my feelings based on what he said in the goodbye vlog.
I don’t think you’re disrespecting anyone with your question at all. There’s nothing ever wrong with a polite discussion. I have a problem at other places where you try to discuss things and people get nasty when there is no need to be.
Poucer84 (Karen) no offense taken. Your comment was thoughtfully constructed and very much appreciated.
To your point, while I understood what David meant in his last vlog, I can understand that others may not have. What is interesting to me is that Kari was very specific in her tweet and I am not understanding why others take it further. I’m also still confused as to why people feel badly. Kari is only asking folks not to RT and post links, nothing more, nothing less. She was not admonishing fans who look at photos or read blogs, nor was I. From the comments above and on other sites, I personally have not seen fans in support of what Kari said, say anything directly (or indirectly for that matter) to another fan if they have publicly chosen to ignore Kari’s request. Mostly what I have read are comments from fans who feel they are being attacked for reading blogs and looking at photos. Again, to my knowledge, there has been no mention of that from Kari or other fans.
What am I missing?
On the topic of David’s shrinking fanbase, my gut feeling is that all of us who were here when he said “See you later” will be here when he comes back. I also think it’s perfectly ok to take a break while David is taking one, reconvene in 2yrs and then see what he’s up to.
I think what you are missing is this. Demonizing the sharing of found photos even by RT’ing them (and I mean photos David knowingly posed for) has tainted the act of even viewing them. It has turned it into something dirty and to be done only in private. It has also turned it into something now denied to fans that are not skilled at finding the photos themselves. It has cast guilt upon those who have done it or do it still. And this guilt comes from the interpretation by some of the fans of what David said (and according to one poll I saw this is a minority of fans who interpret what he said in this way).
I think the line of privacy is not so clear cut. David knows that many missionaries have blogs where their family or friends post their letters and photos. He mentioned missionary blogs once. I think when David (or any other person) poses for a photo on someone else’s camera it is unlikely that he has the expectation that the photo is private, including group photos of the whole mission group. He may even hope his family, friends or fans will see these photos.
But others have decided to read David’s mind, reading between the lines, and clump that in with invading his privacy. I am deeply saddened by this. I feel that David’s best fans are like one-way friends of David. We love, protect and serve him. Some of us love him like a brother or a son. I got great joy from seeing photos of him with his missionary group. I know many others who are also buoyed by seeing him happy in what he is doing. But now we are demonized. I woke up crying over this. I do not think this is what David wanted.
Thanks for your take on this. There’s a lot of emotion attached to Kari asking fans not to RT mission related links. I hope those that did so in the past because they were unaware of David’s wishes (as made clear this week by Kari) do not continue to feel guilty. They simply didn’t know better, there is no guilt in not knowing.
Those that continue to do so and are feeling guilty need to reckon with their feelings. Becoming aware and continuing to do so then feeling guilty about it is should only be of interest to the person that put themselves in that situation. Perhaps those that fall into that category need to pay attention to those feelings, perhaps not. That is for them to decide.
I’m still a little lost on those that feel “demonized” (your word, not mine). To my knowledge, nothing has been posted by Kari or anyone else in regards to fans who choose to look at photos or read blogs, only the public sharing of them.
I am aware of the poll you mentioned. If memory serves, the opinion poll was posted to get fans’ interpretation on what David meant by “respect” (please link me if I’m incorrect). To me, this goes to prove the necessity of Kari’s tweet as I believe the results showed something other than what she expressed.
Again, thanks for your answer to “What am I missing”. I appreciate the thought and caring that went into it.
Karin not Kari tweeted that. Kari agreed but I doubt anyone realized the effect. And I think you are still missing what I am saying. I now feel guilty for looking at photos that come my way, and especially so if I go looking for them. I also feel bad that I can’t share them with those who would be comforted by them. I feel bad because I made someone else on twitter feel guilty for retweeting something. And I have been made to feel it is bad to even look at them. Go look at the comments here – I am pretty sure I saw one saying something like “those blogs are meant for family and friends”. I am not having a good year and more than anything else, those photos – actually seeing David happy in what he is doing – brightened my day. Now they are accompanied by a dark cloud of guilt and the judgement of some that they are not meant for us to see. This has gone way beyond some fan sites deciding they will not post pictures or mentions about David’s mission (which is a decision I have no problem with at all). I viewed David’s It’s Not Goodbye many times, I read the text underneath. My personal opinion as a fairly moral adult is that it is fine for anyone who cares about David to view photos that he happily posed for while on his mission – I think there is an expectation by the participants that such photos will be viewed by others and possibly shared publicly on the web. I also thought it was fine to RT links to the original web location such photos to bring comfort to others who care about and miss David – unfortunately that is now “bad fan” territory. I totally respect David’s privacy. I just feel that unlike the rest of the mission activity, such posed-for photos are not expected to be private by anyone who participated in them. That is just my opinion. I do not think I am a bad person. I do not think I am a bad fan.
Violet, not that it matters what I think, but I do not think you are a bad person nor do I think you are a bad fan.
You said, “My personal opinion as a fairly moral adult is that it is fine for anyone who cares about David to view photos that he happily posed for while on his mission”.
You also said (I’m assuming this was because of a comment posted here at AFS) “I now feel guilty for looking at photos that come my way, and especially so if I go looking for them. I also feel bad that I can’t share them with those who would be comforted by them. I feel bad because I made someone else on twitter feel guilty for retweeting something. And I have been made to feel it is bad to even look at them”
Is it worth considering what voice carries more weight, your own or that of someone else?
violet4ever, I certainly have not called anyone a bad fan or a bad person for posting and viewing info and pics of David on his mission. I don’t think anyone has done that. I do think that when people go around goggling to find information and posting pics of David that they are not respecting his wishes. I think that David was quite clear that this experience was a personal and private time for him that he did not want to share with fans. He point blank said that this was not a journey that we would be taking together. I have not tried to read his mind. I kind of feel like that accusation is something that others are doing themselves by saying that David knew about missionary blogs and when he posed for pictures he knew that they would be posted for all to see. My opinion is based upon what David said. Kari’s tweets have made this even clearer. He worked day and night to make sure fans were left with something so that he could have this private time for himself. I stand by opinion. I don’t think I or anyone else who has stated this opinion is wrong for stating it. I can not change what someone does. I just wanted to state my opinion. If someone feels guilty based upon what I say then respectfully that is on them. I can not make someone feel something that they don’t allow themselves to feel. If you genuinely feel like what you are doing is not wrong then someone else shouldn’t be able to make you feel guilty.
I have read the violet/janey exchange and am so sad about it. I don’t know either person but I think both seem to be wonderful people with a good moral compass who simply interpret something differently. I need to go back to my original idea that David (and Kari) want his actual mission work to be private and I believe fans respect it and would never post anything related to the actual work. But go online and look and you will see thousands of group pictures of missionaries at their missions. And thousands of other photos of missionaries on their down time or posing in joking ways with fellow missionaries and even locals they meet. None of these blogs are set to private which would allow the missionary to control who sees what. Many missionaries say their blogs are a testimony and a part of their mission in fact. They wish to use these blogs to invite visitors into their mission in the hopes the spirit will move others. Read the blogs. They are wonderful and inspirational. Many comments are from casual observers too. It is clear to me that open blogs posted by missionaries are there for all who care to see. This came to me today when I started reading blogs that had nothing to do with David but everything to do with mission life. If we also read the blogs that might have a mention of David so be it.
All of course my own opinion and not meant to cast any feelings on others who disagree.
LurkeyTurkey, thanks for stopping by. I appreciate your idea on what David and Kari are asking. I would offer that Kari’s tweet is pretty specific and addressing only a small portion of what has been commented on, that is the RTing of mission related links, nothing more, nothing less.
I absolutely agree with you that reading missionary blogs (unrelated to David) has been an eye-opening and enjoyable experience. Some of the stories are so compelling, they’re like reading a good adventure novel.
May I just add that David has been LDS all his life and most certainly is familiar with missionary blogs. His posing for pictures and knowing they will likely be posted on public blogs to me means he is agreeing that these certain types of pictures are there for all to see. IMHO of course.
When I watched David in his good-bye video, I heard him say 7 times that he would like to have respect while he is away. I know what respect means but in this incidence I was unsure as to exactly what he was talking about. I can guess some obvious reasons for wanting respect but I didn’t know what the MTC was about, I didn’t know about the Elder’s public blogs and I didn’t know what all of the picture taking and comments from the Elders themselves could mean in regards to what he must have been talking about in his video. So this was it. Many fans from around the world would not have known all that the privacy issue entailed. So out of respect for them it needed to be clarified with just a few words of description.
I would have appreciated a little more with the request for privacy such as, privacy means please do not post pictures of me or other Elders on the web sites. A great many of us have been following David for his music all of the years that he has been involved, but that has never meant that I have studied up on his religion or the workings of a mission. It has only recently since December been an issue at all.
I thought that asking for privacy meant that he would prefer people not approach him if they saw him, or ask for autographs or pictures if they saw him because it would detract from his work. That was all that I thought could happen not knowing the workings of a mission.
Without doubt in my mind I imagine that David was surprised by the reception that he received from the other Elders such as personal pictures being taken with him, autographs being asked for and in general them following him around. I am guessing it was a fair bit to deal with. Once again perhaps that could have been taken care of for David as it must have been far from what he wanted while being a very natural reaction.
Clarity and understanding is a two way street and the rules need to be clarified to people on the world wide web. This could have saved a lot of ill feelings and discouragement in the fanbase.
To accomplish devotion while seemingly being pushed away due to a lack of understanding will take its toll. Many longtime fans have left and I wonder if when David left with the thoughts of returning in 2014, then maybe it would have been better for the fans to have done exactly the same. It sounds absurd perhaps but then there would have been no fans made to feel like they are doing wrong. The last thing that any of us want to do is something that David does not appreciate. It is almost a dream to think that a fansite can keep going for two years without the star making connections.
I want to compliment all of the fansites for taking on the challenge of staying up for the next two years or more. There is a lot of work put into creating articles, finding any news that exists anywhere and using other means of creativity to keep things going. Honestly, I think that his fans are the greatest fans because they have seen droughts before, long droughts that lasted sometimes 8 months before it was known if he was going to continue. They have stood by time after time wondering if he was going to leave the entertainment industry as he contemplated his future. Then, when there was trouble they offered their support. Fans began communicating from country to country building a support team even stronger as it seemed to be needed when he was on his own. So I commend the fans not find fault at this time because their support grew stronger. I sometimes wondered when fans financially supported his many humanitarian efforts if some were using their only bit of money to do what they could when David asked for support of these charities? This fanbase is not simple but hardworking and I have great respect for the fans.
Being specific with requests, having better understanding and giving more clarity to communications early on, will guarantee greater successes.
SB
I agree, SandyBeaches. A little clarity in the beginning would have gone a long way to lessen the confusion.
I think more clarity now is needed because even after it’s been cleared up, people are seeing it in different ways (which I’m asking around because I’m curious how). I guess it has to be cut and dry black and white language that can only be taken one way.